When I came to Pennsylvania a little over 10 years ago, I was well aware that I was in for a culture shock. I’ll never forget my first taste of deer bologna (it wasn’t my last), the lack of decent clothing retailers (this has improved greatly), and… the enigma that is “Trick Or Treat Night”.
My first Halloween in Central PA was an incredibly bizarre experience, because multiple people had to explain to me that, while Halloween is, of course, on October 31st, there was something called “Trick Or Treat Night” which always takes place the Thursday before Halloween. Or… the Wednesday before Halloween. Or… some other day that isn’t Halloween, depending on what township you live in.
You see, here in Central PA, you can’t possibly have kids trick or treating on Halloween, because…
- Gasp! Kids might spend hours and hours roaming their neighborhoods for candy, and that’s just so unhealthy.
- Horrors! Kids might spend hours and hours roaming neighborhoods other than theirs for candy, and that’s just… unfair to all those kids who stay in their own neighborhoods. It’s just so unfair.
- Shocker! Mischief Night! What are we to do with all those deviant kids who want to throw rotten eggs at windows or decorate trees with toilet paper? Never mind the fact that the police are already well-versed with Mischief Night antics and are out en masse that week, protecting the populace from eggs and toilet paper and anything else that might make you late for work the next morning.
- WHAT IF HALLOWEEN FALLS… ON A WEEKEND??? In all of recorded history, truly there hasn’t been a catastrophe worse than allowing kids a full day of trick or treating. They might start out as early as… 9? 10:00 am? And they might go until… 8? 9:00 pm? Think of all the doors they’d be knocking on, and all those people behind those doors they’d be bothering… unless, of course, they chose not to answer the door. Or put up a “No Candy Here” sign. Or something. I mean, can you imagine… a whole day of trick or treating? Sigh… I remember whole days of trick or treating when I was little… I believe it happened twice in my entire treat-seeking lifetime. Twice. Quelle horreur.
So today was the day. Today, or this evening to be exact, was supposed to be “Trick Or Treat Night”… except that the township postponed it due to bad weather. It’s been rescheduled… to October 31st.
Citizens of Central PA!: Haven’t we had enough of this insane notion that kids can’t handle trick or treating on Halloween night? Aren’t we tired of our Boards of Commissioners deciding if and when we can handle collecting candy with our children? And aren’t we fed up with having to remember to stay home the Thursday before Halloween to dole out candy, but only between the hours of 6 and 8:00 pm? Citizens of PA, I urge you to contact your local commissioners and tell them you’ve had enough. We can handle trick or treating on Halloween. We did it when we were kids, and our kids can do it now.
It’s time to Occupy Halloween (#OHW). Who’s with me?